Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Need to learn moderation.

I have never been extremely good at moderation in anything. As a child I would practice the violin for 5 hours at a time. I would practice a gymnastics move until I got it, no matter how long it took. As a teenager I was anorexic, which was only a symptom of my black and white thinking. As an adult (thankfully recovered), I still catch myself doing things regularly like setting my car heater to the highest heat when I'm cold and then moving it to the coldest end as soon as my car warms up. I am unable to somehow leave it in the middle. I don't drink too much anymore because I usually get very drunk when I do. (Again, none of this "2 beer moderation" stuff). I like to think that I'm doing better with every area of moderation, including the two above examples. But then this past week, I worked out every day for 12 days straight, between 1 and 2 hours a day. And I missed a day on Tuesday (busy day!) and so I figured I might as well not work out today either. And hell, I might as well eat a bunch of chocolate too. People, why do I do this? What is it in my brain or my personality that causes this seeming inability to practice normal moderation? I think it's good for me to be aware of my habits, and yes, I have been able to change some while I'm still working on others. But why is it that some people (and yes, ED-susceptible people very often are included) have such rigid thought/behavior patterns while others naturally fall into much more normal (and healthy) patterns? Anyone want to weigh in, no pun intended?

Well, I once again don't have photos. Yes, my eating was crappy today. It included a lot of Peanut butter and chocolate chips! And way too many calories worth of healthy food. Go figure. I do think I've been a little depressed lately and today it came out in my food choices, likely from not going to the gym. I think I need to workout first thing every morning in order for my entire day to be more healthy/productive. I know that I tend to stress fast and easily (lots of people agree that I *can* be a little uptight!) and I'm a pretty physical person, in that I was always an active kid and I feel so much better after a workout! So I'm going to try and wake up earlier and hit the gym first thing, and I can't wait until it's warm enough to exercise outside!

Lastly, on a happier note, there are several impressive giveaways in blog land:

Food Snob is giving away some Holey Donuts in celebration of her 100th post. These things look seriously amazing!

Eating Bender is having a Quaker Oats "All Natural" giveaway for a robe and slippers made with organic, earth-friendly materials, plus a few boxes of their newest flavor of Quaker Simple Harvest Chewy Granola Bars - Trail Mix!

And The Fitnessista is having the same giveaway (they are sponsored by Quaker) and yes, I really want to win!! So I'm increasing my odds here! :)

I'm going to read for a little bit before bed. Goodnight!

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