Thursday, April 9, 2009

So hungry all day!

I don't know why I was so hungry all day today. I haven't been exercising as much as I would like and I think that has something to do with it. For some reason, I'm LESS hungry on days that I workout. I'm an anomaly! The following thing has been on my mind a lot lately, and I hope you don't mind me sharing it. In general I feel like I eat "too much", at least in comparison with what I see other bloggers eat on a regular basis. (I AM NOT MAKING ANY JUDGEMENTS ABOUT ANYONE'S EATING HABITS!) Now, a couple things about this:

1) I maintain my weight pretty easily. Even with how much chocolate I eat. Even with an extra several hundred beer calories on any given day. My body just takes care of me. I will admit that LOSING weight is really hard for me, but so is gaining. I believe maintenance should be EASY, natural and pretty mindless really. Just choosing whole, natural foods when you're hungry, and totally allowing for social eating, and yes, even occasional emotional eating [this is a NORMAL part of life!], although I realize others will disagree with me.

2) I think I'm about 10lbs above my pre-ED natural set point. And I know that sometimes I don't detect being full very well, also due to my former ED. And I love food way too much, especially after recovery where I know now that it gives life and that's a beautiful thing. And I feel really sick when I'm even just a tiny bit hungry. And I still have some low blood sugar problems occasionally.

3) My nutritionist in recovery said that when I regained weight, I'd most likely maintain on about 2200-2400 calories, given my height and build. And I have a fair amount of muscle on me. She's right. Duh.

But sometimes I still fall into the comparison trap where I think "gee, she only eats X number of calories; I'm eating way too much." I know that everyone's body is different. And I guess I should just feel lucky. (?) But I just don't get how I don't keep gaining weight, when I see long distance runners consistently eating way less then me. I should stop worrying about it. In recovery (about 5 years ago and going strong!) I vowed to never feel guilty over eating again and to not miss out on any parts of my life because I was feeling bad over what I ate, or from being weak from restriction. I think I do a good job of these things.

I don't even really know why I just typed all of the above out, but it's off my mind now. Feel free to post comments; I'd love to hear your opinions! :)

Here's a piece of beauty to close. I promise I'll post today's food re-cap (the aforementioned "I ate too much! haha!) and tomorrow's breakfast in the morning and that'll be my last post until Easter Sunday. But for now, enjoy this:



I love Shannon Miller and this routine is the epitome of grace, poise and class. She's near perfect and at the same time, it's creatively choreographed with lots of simpler gymnastics moves which add so much! (Gotta love her full-twisting backhandspring! :)

See you all in the morning. I'm going to go fold laundry now, and yes--I'm jealous of those of you here on the East Coast that are sleeping! :) Sooooon.....

2 comments:

  1. i completely understand about comparing yourself to others - it's hard to always keep in mind that your habits should be ideal for you, and not anyone else. for me, i get very jealous of taller & musclier people who can eat so much more than me and maintain!! at a tiny 4'11" and smallish frame, if i followed suit and ate 2000+ calories a day, it would be a very bad idea ;) 5 years of recovery is an amazing achievement, and you seem to eat very healthily & intuitively, and intuitively doesn't always mean following hunger 100% of the time - sometimes we do eat for pleasure, and i think that's ok in moderation just like everything else!

    this gym routine is so dance-like, i love it. she has an airy lightness to her, so effortless and relaxed!

    p.s. i have some trouble commenting on here... everytime i comment, ihave to do the virtual code thing twice because posting always fails the first time...??

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  2. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
    I completely agree that sometimes it's really hard to see that others eat so little!

    Like you, I have really high (fast?) metabolism and have to fuel every 2-3hrs. I sometimes think that I'm lucky to have such metabolism but sometimes it just sets me off and makes me guilty for eating too often. it's funny how our thoughts work. lol

    if you don't mind me asking, which state do you live in? it would be wonderful to meet someone who has similar interest as i do!

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