Tuesday, April 28, 2009

BLAB: Relationships vs. friendships

Good morning! I'm sorry for not posting yesterday, but I've read all your comments and I really love getting them! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment! :)

The title of this post will be explained. But just to remind you, I'll be posting "BLAB" entries occasionally which stands for "BLogging ABout" and they'll just be about things I want to talk about on here.

I woke up starving this morning, because I had a somewhat upsetting night yesterday and I ate dinner, but I was really hungry by 10pm, and didn't eat anything (BAD, I know!) and was up until 2am, plus I tossed and turned all night. I try to always sound happy on this blog, and I really am, I am still happy, even with this incident...but here goes. Sorry to even have to mention it, but I really want to blog about it and I'd love your feedback if you'd like to leave it.

I am INCREDIBLY blessed to have my boyfriend. But when we were at the bar yesterday, my up-to-this-point best friend, who is a single guy, was also there. We have barely been hanging out at all recently, especially considering that we've been super close for about 2 years, hanging out about 4 days a week together. This friend of mine is practically family and we've always been there for each other, as we both moved across the country from our families, (we met here) and were both music majors at the same school. He's been there for me when no one else was. He's stayed up all night with me to help me pull all-nighters to finish graduate class work. He can make me laugh more than anyone and knows me better than anyone else on this side of the country! We read each other's minds scarily accurately. We've been through a lot of the same things, with us both being music majors. My boyfriend is amazing, but I've known this other guy for a lot longer and I care about both of them on a very deep level. Trust me; NO part of me wants a relationship with any guy other than my boyfriend, and I know that this other friend would NOT be a good person to date. But it's been really hard for me especially yesterday because my "best friend" (til now) saw me spending time with my boyfriend and he is jealous and upset. And I DON'T WANT THIS. I don't want ANY of my friendships, especially not that close of one, to be harmed by my relationship. In some ways, I know our friendship would have to change, but it honestly hurts to see him just walk out of the bar and half-heartedly wave good-bye to me. It hurts to send him a "sorry we didn't get to hang out much" text which I know he got and have him not respond at all.

It just hurts.

I'm going to try and smooth things over with him, but I've been crying every time I think about it and I honestly don't cry that much. It's also undoubtedly why I tossed and turned all night. I never have problems sleeping, but I did tonight! :(

By the way, my boyfriend is the kind of AMAZING guy who saw that I was upset at the bar and just held me and comforted me in his car as I cried, reassuring me that it's OK to feel this way, and it's OK to cry, and he still trusts me and knows that I don't want a relationship with anyone else, but understands how much is hurts to lose, or almost lose, a close friendship. I am truly blessed, and I honestly feel selfish for being this upset over another guy. It's just hard right now.

So my large breakfast was this bowl of oatmeal:

1/2 C oats
1/3 C pumpkin
1 TB ground flax
1 chopped fig
sprinkling carob chips
sprinkling soy nuts
1/3 C cottage cheese
3 slices of peaches in water (finished the jar)

No PB or other nut butter. It just didn't sound good.


I had a great day spent with my boyfriend in the morning. First I went out for a 20 minute run/walk. Then we went to a photography exhibit here in town and then walked around downtown enjoying the outdoors and getting coffee and lunch! (We probably walked for a good hour or more!) We went to a hot dog shop for lunch and I enjoyed two regular hot dogs on white buns with absolutely no second thoughts whatsoever. They were so delicious! It was 80 degrees and sunny and I had a lovely time! I taught violin in the evening from 4:30-8:15 (plus an hour drive each way) and went out with friends afterwards, including my boyfriend, to a local bar where I had an Amstel light.

Tuesday's food recap:

I cut up and ate an entire mango:


And had a lovely bowl of breakfast cereal:


In the afternoon I snacked on 1/2 a PB and jelly sandwich, plus 1/2 a Clif Z brownie bar plus a banana. No pictures, because everyone was home. But I made a simple but yummy dinner of a whole PB and jelly sandwich plus a Superfood Odwalla bar.



Monday was a great, but interesting, day! After racquetball and lunch we had some excitement in the neighborhood. (This isn't the great part). Basically one of my neighbors got in a fight with his ex-girlfriend about whether he had cheated on her. It was almost violent (I typed violin!) and really sad, scary and awful. The cops ended up coming, with 4 police cars, and they had to handcuff the guy because after they ran his background check it turned out that he was an unregistered sex offender! Umm, makes me really comfortable about where I'm living. And it's weird, because I've talked to him (and his roommates) several times and they seemed really nice to me. But he won't be coming back to live with them, so I feel a little better. I ended up texting my boyfriend and telling him what a huge blessing he is to me, and how I was just reminded of that after hearing that couple's fight!

But my evening was great. I hung out with a single male friend (different from the one mentioned above). I had told my boyfriend and he said he appreciated me telling him, but I didn't always HAVE to tell him and either way he was perfectly OK with it. This is good because it would be a problem if he didn't want me hanging out with my male friends. He trusts me and I trust him; I had dinner with this guy and gave him three of my CDs that we finished recording. So really it was like a business dinner. :) We got Chinese food, and I took a picture of my leftovers to show you the basic idea. I picked out all the veggies though, so add a bunch of broccoli and carrots to my meal to see my Monday night dinner:


The entrees were Chicken with Veggies (on the left) and General Tso's (on the right):


We also ended up talking and walking for one and a half hours, so that was another great workout!

I also wanted to show you some pictures of the incredible desserts I consumed over the weekend at games night and on Sunday (and OK, Monday too! Yummers!)

Lemon bars: (just had one of these on Monday)


Chocolate mint brownie bites and coconut chocolate blondie bites:

One of about five I had on Monday:

This was in my camera so I must have snacked on it at some point:


These were growing in my backyard and I found them beautiful:


I'm off to the gym then to get lunch with a friend around 2pm and teach and play from 4-8pm tonight.

Happy Hump Day!

6 comments:

  1. Ahh! I feel so dumb asking this, but whats "hump day"?

    I'm sorry you felt bad at the bar, but I'm sure your other guy friend will soon understand and he'll become great friends with your boyfriend! I love all your eats, ESPECIALLY your bars. I'm such a bar-freak. Hear me roar! HEY! I also had a mango yesterday! :O:O:O Have you been stealing my mangos?! Yum for the desserts! I really want your lemon bars *tries stealing*. Omg, beautiful purple flowers! You're so lucky to have them in your backyard!

    Have fun teaching! :D

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  2. I know how the male best friend-turned interested guy thing is. I hope everything works out in the end - It sounds like your boyfriend trusts you, so do what you need to do. I hope everything goes well for you.

    I haven't really told anyone else but my voice teacher. I've been denying everything to my parents. I need to tell them, but I just can't. Thank you for your support. It means something to me.

    My paper is about the Egmont Overture - which blows my mind. I love it. The first time I heard it, I had no idea who it was by or what it was, and it changed my life. When we were given this piece as an option for a paper, I HAD to chose it. I love the 7th symphony... especially the 2nd movement (cliche, I know), his 5th, 6th, and 9th symphonies... everything. Today in class we got to see a live performance of his violin concerto. Sigh. Beethoven makes everything better.

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  3. Sorry to hear about your friend, I battled the friendship-relationship balance a few years back, and found that it's tough, but you will find that balance

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  4. Ugh. Boys can be so COMPLICATED, no? I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle, right now. But I'm sure things will work out soon enough. =]

    Oh yUm. Such tasty foodage! I'm beginning to fall in love with mangos, again. They have such a lovely flavor.

    Mhm. And lemon bars = <3. My favoritest dessert EVAR.
    (Well. Besides ice cream. Hee.)
    Hope you have a fabulous night! Take care <3

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  5. Heyyy there girl! Your boyfriend and you are absolute SO cute. I am glad he's the amazing guy you've been looking for. He's a very lucky man I tell you :) Yummy eats--I LOVE LEMON BARS. I am sorry about your situation with your guy friend. I am sure everything's going to work out just fine!! Everything looks so good. I love the no guilt with the hotdogs! That's the way to go :)
    <3 jess
    xoxo

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  6. did you post up a regualr pic of you and the boy and i missed it?? i cant ever see half your pics at work.. i will have to read your blog from home!

    about the boy thing.. does the other guy want something? did you ever see the movie Win A Date With Tad Hamilton? I kind of thought of that movie when i was reading this.. not trying to cast any doubts, or make you nervous.. but maybe he thouhgt you guys were something more than just friends? or was expecting to one day make that change? i dont know!!! i may just be running my mouth!!!

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