Ten Reasons Not to Date Me

 

An Open Letter to Guys, or 10 Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Date Me.

Dear Boys,

Recently more guys have expressed interest in me and/or asked me out. I’m writing this open letter to you regarding the matter. Consider this your warning.

1)    I talk too much and too loudly.

2)    I love food, and I will always eat to keep myself healthy and happy. When my 25 year old metabolism slows down, I make no promises that I won’t end up 50 pounds overweight when I’m in my 30s and 40s. You don’t want a fat girlfriend.

3)    I am a Christian with fairly strong moral convictions. This means that you might think I’m a religious weirdo.

4)    I am more specifically a feminist, liberal, egalitarian Christian. Which means that if you’re also a Christian, we probably won’t get along, theologically speaking.

5)    I am supremely selfish with my time. No, I don’t particularly want to spend a lot of time trying to enjoy your hobbies; I have my own. And no, I don’t want to plan my day around yours. That’s never going to happen.

6)     I am extremely unpredictable in what I say, think, feel and do. I’m a human being. I refuse to apologize for this, but it would probably (rightfully) infuriate you.

7)    I am cranky a vast majority of the time, whether it’s hunger, stress, fatigue, cold, or any combination therein. No really, you don’t want to date me. Got it?

8)    I don’t wear cute enough clothes. And I am sure as heck not going to dress in what you like me to wear in order to have you find me attractive. I wear what I like, and it’s not usually what guys find attractive.

9) I am a people pleaser to a fault. Oh, and I also hate conflict.

10)    I don’t –ever- want to get married. So why even bother to date me in the first place?

Respectfully,

Yours Truly